The presence and role of “Dad” plays an important role in their children’s development. The presence of both parents with low conflicts between them show a high level of warmth to their children even when divorced, and can lower their children’s internal problems (Chen, 2009). Fathers who are emotionally and psychologically well-adjusted can affect their children’s level of self-esteem. A father’s positive presence is beneficial for both male and female adolescents. A father’s presence can represent security and leadership, confidence, male development, and psychosocial behavior. During my own research on this topic, I found that a female child or adolescent can learn about developing trusting relationships with men and competence (Chen, 2009). Furthermore, Chen’s (2009) findings indicate that the father-child involvement is very significant and different from mothers.
Even though, I grew up with the presence of my biological father and step father, most of my confidence and affirmation came from other men who were like father figures. These father figures saw into me and were able to affirm my purpose, call and positive attributes. I believe that if my biological and step-father were more (or knew how to be) emotionally and psychologically involved, I would had a higher self-esteem level as a child and teenager. I read an article by Krampe & Newton (2006) who found that a father’s influence on their daughter’s lives can encourage social capital, good self-esteem and self-sufficiency in them.
With all of this said, as a mental health professional, pastoral counselor and inspirational life coach, I witnessed the comparison between children (especially daughters) who have emotionally available/invested fathers and those who are not and/or not present physically at all. The outcomes I witnessed and explored were: father-daughter relationship also affects their daughter’s behavior and attitude towards school and academic achievement, religious beliefs, career development, peer relationships, and adult relationships such as marital happiness.
Important points, prompts, and finding resources for fathers:
- So we see how fathers can have a stronger influence on their daughters’ self-esteem compared to mothers because of what they represent.
- Listening to live testimonials and stories from women on Every Man Journal, and successful women that I know personally, shared that their confidence and high academia grades stem from their father’s positive impact and involvement.
- Constant positive affirmations and talks with dads (biological, Step, foster, uncle, etc.) helps us little and big girls feel secure and increases our self-esteem.
- Spending quality and quantity time talking, walking, and using positive affirmations with your children is vital to their development.
- Even displaying your affection via compliments, hugs, kisses and giving can still have a positive impact on your child/teen/adult-children.
Quote: Battle and Coates (2004) states, “single fathers have more influence later in development” (p. 401). They further report that “girls living in single-father households develop closer relationships with their father as they get older, especially during adolescents because of the paternal influence that may serve as a “powerful and positive factor” in the future” (Battle & Coates, 2004, p. 401).
Battle, J., & Coates, L.D. (2004). Father-only and mother-only, single-parent family status of
black girls and achievement in grade twelve and two-years post high school. The Journal of
Negro Education, 73(4), 392-407.
Chen, N. (2009). The impact of fathers. Human Development Specialist, Retrieved October, 12,
Krampe, E. M., & Newton, R. R. (2006). The father presence questionnaire: A new measurement
of the subjective experience of being fathered. Men’s Studies Press, 4 (2), 159-190.
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